Enough

Nights linger beyond reasonability
And there in the depths of moonlit hours
Somewhere on the other side of midnight
Silence is purged by my own screaming thoughts
A thousand questions burst through deadtime
Demanding answers that I do not have
Everything from my mortality to tomorrows forecast
Paints the walls of my soul in urgency, a need to know
I could probably tackle these questions one at a time
But this verbal attack from all sides, all places
Leaves me overwhelmed..
Wandering lost through an alphabet maze

I shake my head, trying to chase them away
And for a moment I find sanity
Then they start echoing again
Slower this time, but demanding
"Will everything you are be lost in
Splintered memories of broken days?"
"Will all the pain in your heart ever
Be justified, be found worthy?"
"Will your name be whispered across eternity
For how bravely you fought and how deeply
You loved, even if in the end you stand there alone,
Unloved and defeated?"

A sigh escapes my trembling lips
For I have no answers

"What's it all for?"
"Why am I here?"
"Will I ever know?"

As the horizons breaks wide open
Painted with dawn's beauty
The questions seem to quiet some
And I reason within myself
That there are answers to all my questions
I know how deeply I loved
How fiercely I fought

And really isn't that all that matters
Its not if your name paints history
but how you feel about yourself in the dark
And if I am standing here alone
At least I know I gave it my all
I loved wholeheartedly
And that justifies any pain my heart feels
I stood strong on my beliefs
And I endured 'till the end

What's it all for
Every moment, every beautiful moment
that's what it's all for

Why are we here
Love, that's what it's all about
Every person you touch
And every person that touches you
Love the only sanity in this insane world

And will I ever know…
It doesn't matter
I know enough…

© LadyRaine


(questioning quote from the movie "Troy")

Midnight Ink

And on nights like this
When Luna barely shows her face
And the wind howls wicked
And the sky cries lonely
And I'm the only one
Out here searching the stars
In the darkness
I can't fight back the tears
That will eventually claim my cheeks

And then
My pen calls to me
Beckoning my soul
And I know I've got to go
I'm a slave to it's ink
A whore to it's salvation

There are no faces
Or names
attached to the pain
It's just a collogue
of lost dreams
and broken memories
Collectively bleeding
Hues across tattered pages

But it is as it should be
My pain, my loneliness, my love
Pouring from my heart
Penning yesterdays long gone
And the promise tomorrows yet to be

And I know this won't save me
But for one moment
There in the dark
It feels like it just might
So I write and I write

And when dawn yawns
Rousing slowly awake
I am able to find a minute of beauty
A moment of peace that is all mine
There in the silent hope of a new day

©LadyRaine

Window Pain

Pickled dreams fermenting in glass jars
Sundrenched along the white picket fences

From a nicotine laced window sill
Tired eyes look on above the stench

Benign thunder teases the moment
Where dusty tears never fall

The aroma of rain is just an illusion
That dances upon her sanity

How long has she gazed out across
Barren tomorrows

Her mouth waters as she remembers
Desperately trying to savor the taste

Recalling a thousand yesterdays
Forever lost in wait

Exhaling starstroked destinies into today
She silently succumbs

Reaching through a cloud of billowing grey
She presses her hand gently to the pane glass

And she blinks for the first time
In far to many years

© LadyRaine

And I finally understood

I always knew she belonged to you
She shared your soul, I felt it
Even when you placed her in the palm of my hand
I never once forgot who her true owner was
And I saw you there
Watching from the shadows
With trembling fear in your eyes
Yet you never said a word
Or tried to take her back

I didn't mean to lose her...
I swear I only sat her down for a moment
Placing her ever so gently between
"Love and war" and red licorice whips
I just wanted to swim between the ivory poles
And brush the lips of the seeing blind man
But I got drunk on his heartbeat
Losing my way back to her..

So when the Red Queen showed up
Demanding she had news
For my ears only
I had to go with her

But I never forget
I was going to go back

But once her majesty's mouth opened
And a thousand lost days came tumbling out
How could I leave
How could I abandon her truths
How could I abandon her
I couldn't

So I stayed
Trying to recapture moments for my Queen
Where instead in midnight reflections
I found once again
The man who claimed to have no sight
Yet saw better than any man I knew

He lingered under an opened window
Forecasting that a cloudless sky would rain
And I pondered the strength in his claim
Wanting so badly to believe in his storm
But when I gazed upon the skies
I saw only a sequence harmony

And then he pulled me close
This gentle man
Placing his hand over my eyes
Before stroking his truths between my lips
I fell to my knees in shame
As the rain began to fall

When he moved his hand
To wipe raindrops from his face
I saw her there
And then I knew
She was part of my soul too

And when I placed her in his palm
I felt the fear of losing her
Race up my spine
As I knew you had
But my heart told me
It was the right thing to do

And in that moment
Your memory flooded me
And I finally understood

© LadyRaine